Life inspires the song. The song inspires the story. They are both always changing.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Circles (Carousel · Sydney Wayser)

     When I go to the amusement park I avoid the spinny rides.  I get dizzy and sick to my stomach.  It goes from there and steals hours of fun as my body tries to undo the damage of the circles.  I have noticed that there are certain circles and cycles to my life.  I am breaking my own as much as I can as quickly as I can and I think I am doing ok.  In fact,  I've been surprising even myself and I can be my own worst enemy.  As I change and adapt yet again to the things around me I am getting frustrated.  At what point will these constant adaptations start to benefit me?  If I grow in ways I thought unimaginable and continue to push myself in places I was well aware were in need of repair...is there not some reward? 
     As a grown up I have learned that no matter how much I want to ride those colorful, loud and fun rides that twist and turn I really can't handle them.  I love the ups and downs of a good roller coaster.  Moments of excitement tucked strategically in pockets of calm.  I like scenic train rides.  There is a track and path to follow and I can enjoy the view.  I like lots of different rides for many different reasons.  But to go in circles...just not my thing.  I have already passed by something once maybe twice...why do it over and over and over?  I will stand in line for the rumbling wild of a wooden coaster.  I will get soaked on the log flume.  I will chase you with wild abandon on the bumper cars.  But please don't ask me to spin in circles because I will have to walk away.  I will find a nice park bench to sit on with my kettle corn as you spin in the circles you can't seem to escape.  I will watch from a distance but I will not get on the ride.

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