See-Saw Be Gone

     I have this theory that the universe operates on a see-saw.   I have been working very hard on trying not to lend to the self-fulfilling prophecy of the whole concept and maybe just allow some happiness to come to me for free but I really should just accept it.  
     Just a few days ago I started to weed my little garden because the warmth inspired me to do so.  I know deep down that it's March in the Poconos and anything can happen though so I joked with people that it would "snow next week because that's what it does".  It does, indeed.  It's snowing.  In fact, schools are closed.  Underneath the new blanket of snow are the flowers and sprouts that were already celebrating the first day of spring. 
     I say I have this theory because I tend to do something very bad.  If there is laughter...too much of it at once...secretly I worry.  I get nervous because there is a see-saw of crying/laughter.  Too much one way and the other starts to get heavy.  Picture little "Laughter" wearing yellow on one end.  She is bright and cheery.  The other end of the wood plank has cranky and grey little "Cry".  It just waits there for the clank of the board and the descent of its partner. 
    It can be a great day balanced by a horrible one.  An amazing movie followed by a waste of time.  Books, pets, friends, jobs, pizza....there is no limit to my see-saw theory.  Here and there I forget.  I just allow the moment to be...happy and beautiful.  I smile internally and take pictures to keep the moment precious forever.  I get excited.  My optimism meter charges and gets full.  Maybe the curse has been lifted.  ..........CLANK.  It's the way of the world.  It's balance.  It's human nature and the entropy of the cosmos and everything else that collides as we go from day to day. 
     Lately, I thought it was right to allow the see-saw to remain high for a bit and love it without the fear of the drop.  I have been practicing.  I think I am succeeding because the bang to the metal as it falls comes to be more and more of a surprise lately.  I actually am not waiting for it anymore.  BUT, I should also be prepared.  Maybe the key is to brace my legs...keep my knees soft....bend as I drop.  I can allow the good as well as the bad and not feel it as a punishment but maybe just as normal.  I like playgrounds and I enjoyed the see-saw as a child but only when my polar playmate was fair.   I would be gentle with them on the fall and push with strength for a fun ascent.  I'll play see-saw with the universe but I just wish it would start playing nice.