PMS otherwise known as Please men, stop!

PMS is defined as:
a complex of physical and emotional changes, including depression, irritability, appetite changes, bloating and water retention, breast soreness, and changes in muscular coordination, one or more of which may be experienced in the several days before the onset of menstrual  flow.

I know, I know it sounds like so much fun!  And then there's PMDD which is now acknowledged as a true and serious issue.  So why in the world do the boys not get it?  I mean, c'mon....we knew to stay clear of our Moms on those special days when we were mere babies.  What keeps you from getting the lesson? We are cranky and miserable.  We hate our bodies, our hair and our fingers.  We can't stand our old crappy wardrobe and think our house is a disgusting mess.  We hate the current political messes and the cereal choices in our cabinet and everything in between.    Our to do lists are too big and though we need to get a million things done all we really want to do is hide in bed and watch Lifetime.  That is after we have sorted the pens by point and color and type.  It doesn't make sense to you does it?  But what you forget is that it doesn't make sense to us either.  It is crazy time.  I have compared it to being a special needs person for just a few days a month.  We don't get mad at the person in the wheelchair or the sick kid or someone with a disability and though I'm not comparing it to some major problem I am simply stating that we lose our minds for a few days and our ability to end a run on sentence.   Some of the symptoms are fun...we stutter, lose our thoughts with a strong breeze and tend to tidy up the oddest of areas.  We might trip a bit, cry or laugh easier than usual and have an uncontrollable urge to eat sausage.  Other symptoms are harder...we don't feel so well, we are fatiqued and we want to move to a new state, sell our jewelry and take the dog to the pound.  We all know that we would never actually do that though...don't we???
     Mark your calendars, order up some good take out, get Netflix all lined up with her favorite movies.  Be a little extra concerned and gentle.  Pick up your clothes from the floor.  Let her be.  In fact...offer up some time alone.  Maybe text another girl and tell her to take her off of your hands.  But boys oh boys don't poke the cobra.  Don't let the bull out the gate at the rodeo.  Don't spill the paint.  It's very hard to undo these things.  Keep a safe distance, be careful of what you say, avoid the hot button items.  Just be the guy you were back when you hid all of your crap... pretend you are that impressive fun man and we'll pretend that we don't mind that you no longer are like that...well, right after PMS is over of course.  Until then you simply can do no right.  You've been warned.  Now soldier, gear up and prepare for the likes of war no country has ever seen.  Hmmmm, come to think of it maybe we have the wrong ones fighting...at least for 3 days out of the month anyway.  ;)