While you are getting a tooth worked on and the nerve is exposed you feel more. The air hurts. The cold water is painful. The sharp tools bring tears to your eyes. The normal conditions that might come upon on your sensitive little tooth feel anything but normal. They are bigger. Unrelenting.
Life feels like that. I find a certain breeze can hurt. A scent can bring tears to my eyes. Sometimes it is unexpected. The moments catch me off guard. Nerves exposed. And while I am spinning and dodging hazards here...some others might catch me over there. Tricky little tools they are. It leaves a person feeling a bit confused. From moment to moment everything can change. Strong then weak. Angry enough to change things in one breath and too defeated to move in the next. Ready to conquer the world come sunrise and too tired to lift a finger by sundown. Each clock tick in between is a grab bag of everything the heart, soul and mind can feel. Nerves are protected for a reason. Exposure means risk. It is even trickier when you didn't plan the exposure. With each feeling comes a new way to deal with it. It means being strong, kind, brave, vulnerable, light, heavy...any and all...at any given moment. It is exhausting in a whole new way. You have to redefine yourself. You have to search for sources and methods you are not accustomed to.
Eventually the nerve is safe again... but for the time that it is raw, exposed and painful you find yourself bargaining with time and pain. You become what you need to in that second or everything at once hoping that will do the trick. Everything at once means at least one of the emotions will work with what you are facing. Throw all of the weapons and one is bound to battle for you.
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