It's August. August is when I analyze the year behind me and look ahead to the year that is in front of me. Businesses have their fiscal years. Dieters have their January. Me...I break up my years in a different way...September to August. It's my birth month and it's how I gauge my life. I try to find a mission, a theme, a series of goals to strive for. I threw a monkey wrench in the system this year by starting my "new thing of the day" in January. Now I have to create some Venn Diagram on the wall and see where things can overlap. What will my theme be? What do I need to accomplish?
I face September like it's one giant present with the most beautiful wrapping and the fluffiest of bows. I take stock of the people I am lucky to have in my life. I look forward to growing closer to the new ones. I mark the calendars with schedules full of exciting events. The ones that bring us together with a common reason to celebrate. The others that are necessary to keep everyone safe and healthy. The fun. The serious. The important. It is the thrill of Christmas morning but without the drop off at the end of the day. My Christmas keeps on going....full of promise and hope.
This year can be: the year I rock the abs again, the blanket that I finally knit, the books I get to read, the trips I've yet to take, the people I get to laugh with, the food I've never tasted, the places I've never been...endless possibilities. This year with so much new in front of me and so much to conquer and get over...maybe my theme should be simple...to be happy again.
Happy sounds cute enough. It's a sweet bouncy little word wearing a colorful sundress and strolling along a sandy beach...but it's not all that easy to attain. I want the real happy. I don't want the one that lasts for a moment, a concert, an event, a tv show. I want the one that starts from my feet and bubbles up from within. The kind that gets you through the mundane and ordinary and brings sparkle to it all. There might be a million little tiny ways to accomplish it. Maybe a few biggies as well. But whatever the recipe I need to whip me up a batch of it. It's been a long life with tastes here and there and now I am ready to dig in for a serving so big I need to run afterwards....
So, I am taking stock. I am fighting for those I love. Letting go of those that need to be released. Finding the new. Pushing the scary. Grabbing the challenges. Living in the present. Knowing that someday...I'll feel better.
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