Benjamin Franklin spoke the words that are the title to this post. I've been thinking about time more than ever though it's always been something sacred to me. I resent sleep because I believe it to be a time thief. I wish we didn't have to waste time going to the bathroom and eating and showering over and over and over. I love that my dvr lets me zip through the commercials and that I can enjoy a sitcom in 19 minutes or so. Don't get me wrong I can sit in a hammock on a sunny day and feel the sun rays and breezes fall upon me if given the chance...but don't ask me to WASTE time.
I was told it was a precious commodity. I wasn't sure was this meant at first. I've had quite a bit of time to think about it. When my cat was given a month to live I treated him differently. I made each day count. I brushed him and gave him his favorite treats. I played with catnip and toys and snuggled with him extra hard. He lived well beyond a month and I was grateful for each day. When my Mom was diagnosed with cancer the final prognosis gave me hours...days...to spend with her. You can only imagine the pressure I put on those final moments. But it didn't take recent deaths life changes to come to this conclusion. I've known since childhood that time was a gift. It has frustrated me when I saw negligence from others where time was concerned.
Have you looked at a mirror with shock as you find those gray hairs? How about when you realize your child is about to turn 9....you wonder who this stranger is in front of you. Maybe you hear a song on the radio...the one that you still know every single word to...and hear the dj say the year it came out and feel the horror when you can't believe it's been 20 years. Reunions feel surreal but so does a realization that your favorite sweater is 15 already. We have all wondered where the time has gone.
I'm asking you to see it for the commodity that it is. See, I'm at a point in my life where money is not free flowing. I can't buy you treats let alone fancy goodies. I can't go on vacation with my children. Sometimes I can't even come and visit because the tank of gas is too expensive. I have given up many things. I have sold goods and traded gold.
Time is the key. Time is my gift. I can't workout at the gym for 2 hours a day unless something else suffers. I can't play with my kids and clean as much as I need to and volunteer all at the same time. I can't work with my forgetful Dad properly or send letters to people I'd like to stay in touch with. I miss shows that make me laugh and have instruments that never get played. Books and magazines taunt me. Video games collect dust. I'm not taking classes or working enough hours or planting the garden. I don't spend enough time with loved ones. It's endless. Time is precious. If I'm spending it with you it's because I am choosing to not do something else. If I am more efficient I can do more. If I organize it wastes less time. I can't rehash the past and worry about tomorrow because today is right here and I am watching it go by....as...I....type.
For me the goal is balance. Time well spent can mean anything as long as its valuable. It means the mental checklist is being marked off appropriately. Being late, fighting, dawdling, etc...this is wasting time. If you are bored you are missing something. I can be doing five things at once and thinking about the thirty things I need to do next. I never want to stop learning new things, trying new foods, reading new stories...but how oh how do I find the time to do it all? When you are single and become a couple you wonder where your time went. You get a job and you wonder what you did before with those hours. You have a child and then a second and you can't imagine you used to sit around on the couch some days watching silly chick flicks. Now, as I panic at the not-enough-hours-in-a-day moments I have to catch my breath. It is all flying by so quickly. Ironically, I just took a deep breath to slow down and calm the panic and all I can hear is my clock ticking...reminding me of the very thing I am scared of. With each tick...did I spend it wisely, did I do enough. With each tock...what is next and how do I slow it down. We can't stand at the return counter of life and get our minutes back like cash. We can't start a time account and get back extra points. There are no credit cards that get us frequent minutes back. All we have is here and now and how we choose to spend, to save and to donate our time...only UNLIKE the little coffee cans that my daughter and I decorated to show her how to spend her money I can't fill my little recycled cans with time...I have to make these decisions as I go. Maybe the photographs are the bank statements, the memories are the IRA's and the laughs are the ATM slips...
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